Birthdays as Rapture
a practice in self-celebration
Several Italian desserts, 3 delicious bespoke cocktails, 2 speakeasies, a few happy-hour-priced oysters (sorry Mirah lol) and the best god-damn Paloma I’ve ever had. On August 16th, I turned 34 in exactly the way I wanted to: at peace.
Now that my life is dedicated to art and beauty, I can speak of what it feels like to stroll calmly in the quiet meadows of life, admiring the sun and the flowers and the breeze. I’ve been slowly gathering momentum for the life I want for a long time, gently tapping the accelerator pedal. 34 feels like the tipping point of my greatness.
I’ve gathered the colors to paint the kind of saccharine love I am after, and I have given it to myself like church lady candy. Warm reds and deep plums. Soft pinks, and absolutely no blues.
I have the language that goes inside the care instructions to my heart, the delicate item that it is. And they’re written in permanent ink.
I pulse with the life force that has been waiting just for me. That rhythm vibrating through the universe and running through my soul? My hips undulate with it. I let it carry me away, Graham dance style. I spin a pirouette until I am dizzy on the wonder of life. I have ditched the layers that were holding me down. I got naked. I got weightless. At 34, I am still imperfect, but I am free.
I have been gifted so much. A sweet haiku, the West Side Story soundtrack on vinyl, a yummy charcuterie & set of crystals, a bunch of self care goodies. They all remind me that I am truly seen, adored, and loved right where I am. I am worth of celebrating.
Birthday or not, I’m throwing a party in my own honor. I don’t need a wedding, a baby, or a new job. I am reason enough. I am ALWAYS reason enough. I’m no longer going to try to convince the world that I’m anything less than bold and audacious. I’m renting the ballroom, opening the bar, and whatever I do, I’m not forgetting the piñata. I’m filling it with every last piece of magic inside and around me. And I’m gonna knock. that. muhfuckah. down. and invite the world to gather me up again…
My 34th birthday gets to be the anniversary of my arrival. Happy Birthday, to me.
Special thanks to Tyler, Janine, Amirah, Brandon Jamal, Dean “The Boss”, my colleagues at work and Brandon R. for making my birthday feel extra-special.